You’ve matched—or maybe you just stumbled across her profile in discovery mode. You like her. Her smile stuck with you, her bio made you curious. The crush is real. Now what?
How do you break the ice without sounding like everyone else? How do you catch her attention without pushing her away? Let’s be clear: the first message matters. And if you know how to get it right, you’ve got a real shot.
Before You Write: Read Between the Lines
Before you rush to type something, take thirty seconds. Read her profile—really read it. Not just the first line or the last photo. Everything.
Why? Because a good first message shows you noticed something. That you’re interested in her, not just sending out the same line to ten profiles.
Does she talk about a favorite place? A food she can’t stand? A weird hobby? A hint of humor? Those are your entry points—far better than “Hey, how are you?”
Your goal is to create a connection in the very first sentence. And that connection starts with a small detail you took the time to notice.
📖 Also read: 4 Ways to Start a Conversation With Someone You Don’t Know
The First Message: No Copy-Paste, No Panic
This is where most people fail. They try to be fast, and end up sending what everyone else sends. She reads it, sighs, and swipes away.
You’re going to do better.
Don’t start with an interrogation or a generic compliment. Forget “You’re really pretty.” She already knows that. What she doesn’t know is what you have to say that’s a little different.
Respond to something specific in her profile. If she says she loves Korean movies, ask her which one will get you hooked in under ten minutes. If she’s into hiking, tell her about that time you got lost in Aburi following what you thought was a trail.
The idea isn’t to tell your whole life story—it’s to create a point of connection, with a relaxed, natural tone.
Your message should give her a reason to reply—not out of politeness, but because you sparked her curiosity.
The Right Tone: Engaging, Not Overbearing
You don’t have to be funny if it’s not your style. But you should avoid sounding cold. A message that reads like a résumé? No. One that’s too intense or needy? Worse.
The right tone feels like casual conversation—like you’re sitting next to her at a bar and something just made you both smile.
Be yourself—but the version that pays attention, listens well, and avoids awkwardness.
If you want to make her smile, let the humor come from something real. A quirky observation, a clever reference, or a different way of phrasing a question. You don’t need a comedy routine—just a touch of charm.
And above all: don’t compliment her looks in your first message. Not because it’s forbidden, but because it’s too easy. She wants to know you’ve got something more to say.
She Doesn’t Reply? Not the End of the World (or Your Chances)
You sent a thoughtful message. And… silence. No reply. Not even a “thanks.”
Before giving up, give it time. Maybe she’s busy. Maybe she hasn’t seen it yet. Maybe she’s unsure. Be patient.
If you want to follow up, do it tactfully. Not in an hour. Not even the same day. But after two or three days, a light, funny message can work:
“Maybe I went too hard with my lost-hiking-in-Aburi story 😅 Did you survive reading it?”
Still nothing? Let it go. No need to push. Dating is about mutual energy, not chasing.
📖 Also read: 5 Tips to Get Her Number Without Pressure
Conclusion
A match is just a slightly open door. Your message decides whether she swings it open—or shuts it. So make sure it has a bit of style, meaning, and personality.
You don’t need to be perfect. Just interesting enough to make her want to keep the conversation going.
Be attentive. Be real. Be easy to talk to. And above all, speak to her like someone you’re genuinely curious about—not just someone you want to impress.
That’s the real game.
💬 FAQ – How to Message a Girl You Like on a Dating App
1. What should I say in my first message to get a reply?
Pick out a specific detail from her profile—a hobby, a line, a photo. Show her you really read it. A custom message always has a better chance than a recycled one.
2. Should I give a compliment in the first message?
Not necessary—especially not a physical one. A compliment about her humor, style, or interests is more meaningful. Avoid clichés.
3. How long should I wait before following up?
Wait 2–3 days. If there’s still no reply, send a short, light follow-up. If she doesn’t respond again, move on.
4. How do I know if my message is too short or too long?
Two or three sentences is ideal. Too short feels lazy, too long can be overwhelming. Aim for something that teases a little but leaves room for conversation.
5. What if I’m afraid of getting it wrong—is it better to say nothing?
No. Not trying means missing your chance entirely. Even an imperfect but sincere message will always be better than silence. You don’t have to be perfect—just be genuine.
